i'm thinking of you
day and night
even though you don't speak a word
your voice is still in my head
do you know i think of you everyday?
do you even know my love for you?
Chee Yuen gave me a " speech", frankly tell me what he thinks about me about part-timer work or ISC and my personalities... Of course, he shared many advices and experiences with me... I was honestly to tell him whatever I am thinking or doing in my life.... something in heart... Yan Xin also said she want to communicate with me... just finding the time...
Liang Yun called me, even we know each other have not reached to 1 month, but I think that he understands me quite well, like my " feature" ---- zi yi wei shi !!! He told me sometimes the people besides me will be hurt by this... the worst thing is that I don't even know or realized that... haiz... it is true... and he told me one thing" nothing got meaning... and you must know what you should do not what you thinking of doing?!!" quite straight forward... but also true...
chances.. I have lost a lot .... which were can not be back... However there are more and more things to let me try, and work on... of course, I must do the changes... Just need the time... Anyway, i must think through again and plan well... personalities ==> hobby==> excuse==> fail ==> then your life will be XXXXXXX!!!
nothing without trying or overcome challenges...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Saturday, October 28, 2006
12:24 PM
He did not reject to work with me for the coming soccer match... maybe it is a chance to us to talk after long time.... maybe it is purposely made by yan xin...whatever just a guess... in some way, i am a bit nervous, I asked few of my friends, they all gave a simple answer" be natural", but sometimes It is not easy to do so... Even I also encourage myself in this way....hehe ....
Yesterday before UT, yan xin msn me, she said" sometimes she really doesn't understand what I am thinking or doing, I just acting in other people's eyes, to be happy, positive and cheerful, and please spend more time on finding yourself and THINKING!!! she was quite true to say that, I am not such people to always funny and most of the time is in negative mood... :( I told myself when I back to home from Pan Ping's house, in my life there are some people I really cared and loving, but one of my goal is to know many people and make a lot of friends from all over the place, the reason I gave for this, just very simple, because I think in the day of future, We will help each other, and very believe in " duo ge peng you duo tiao lu"... maybe I am a bit over in this specific area... Further more, I don't know the real reason...
Sometime qiqi , huan huan will envy me to have such happiness family, my dad and mum they loving each other, and I have one blood brother at home, the rest of family members all happy to stay in together... I am proud to be one of them in this big , happy family!!! However nothing is perfect, I am like a follower or soldier, to do anything asked by my father, can not say NO, or rejected, I am unhappy and hurt by this... between Father and me, we TRYing hard to treat each other like a friend, can share good or bad times in our daily life, It is NEVER BE DONE...He still acted as A FATHER, I am still be his kids... not really self... Remember last time i wrote in QQ nickname, I can lose myself, my love, my friendship, but can't LET DAD DOWN, which is the only thing I can not do... is it true ? yea... think so... no... maybe it is so called a excuse I often gave to myself...
......don't know.... how ??? ask for help??? or keep going like this ??? changing??? NO.... WORKING HARD TO IMPROVE ON!!!
No matter what, I am living with all friends, please accompany , motivate and besides me all the time.... I am just very scared lonely... Even I like watch movie or go beach alone...
QI SHI WO ZI JI DO BU LIAO JIE ZI JI ---- KE BEI......
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
10:31 PM
Today is 24th of Oct.... we broke off 9 months... everything is fine to me, no more expections... in chinese we saying that, zhen de kan kai le .... no matter what happened on us, like you just sat opposite me or I saw you around school.. there is nothing, feel free and relax... of course I am still be natural and happy.... BUT!!! Yesterday after your UT... that was so unpredictable... you came towards to yan xin, wei jia and me, told us that you wanna sit and eat together... further more, you played games with us, indirectly talked to me, I was shocked and confused by your reaction... You may understand what kind of feeling I had at that moment, since we broke off till now, I was trying hard to talk to you, sent message and chat online with you, you were really like a cool man, never given a chance,and treated me like air or transparent glass...
I really don't understand what's going on or what will happend in the future... I asked yan xin, she never replied, maybe she does not how to answer me, maybe she purposely wanna train me to face this problem by self... Sok Feng gave me this answer" maybe he wanna be your friend, just don't know how to speak out, and sometimes we won't know the reason for some certain things, but afterwards we will know what it exactly be.... " haiz... whatever all over... If there is a FADE between me and you, it will work to let us be friends again... even a normal male and femal friends...
Now we are enjoying our life in our own way.... all the best, good luck and take care, you are really slimmer than last year when we were together, only can say this to you, nothing more... To me, I just hope that I am be able to keep it on to whatever I am doing here...
Lastly Today we went to gui dao( forgot the English name), so hot and sleepy..haha... Yesterday I really wannt to invite you to join, but in the end, I did not have such confidences... hoho...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Monday, October 16, 2006
6:56 PM
Why did I write this blog? only for commemorating last year... First time withdraw momey from my Bank account... which is not my father's, it was my own income... because I was working in school library for 70hours.The total payment was $315... still remember the moment I withdraw out the $50... I was going to cry out... From his face, I understood that he was quite shocked and unbelievable...hehe .... so much differences here, today i won't go check my account... because almost 2months never worked in rp library... besides me is not him, replace with other closed friends!
well... let all those memories pass freely.... haha... not too much sad than before... enjoy my life in my way...
haha...... looking forwald..when we graduate! maybe there will be something changed... whatever ON MY WAY TO ....
my god... just relized that coming three days got UT... die ...... have to study ... to show my power and proof to myself that I can do it... in front of SEG... good luck !! tomorrow got Event, wear nicely and formal..haha...
just end here....
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Friday, October 13, 2006
5:39 PM
Don't know why I was feeling tired during the lesson, and headache in some way... And I don't wanan eat.... in the end forced myself to have had you mian... haiz... really felt sick...
Actually I don't know what I can write down here, no much thing can share with ... just in mood again...maybe it is because I did not do well for today's lesson...
whatever be happy !!
siao, first time to use this font size ... will look cool...haha...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Thursday, October 12, 2006
3:02 PM
261days already since we broke off on 24th of Jan.2006... the total days we have been together is the same days... xiao tong told me there will be some surprise come in this specific day!! Last night Liang yun sent a message to say, he likes me... in the first place, I was shocked by him... maybe it is a Surprise... am I get ready to give a try ... I don't think so ... because my mission and vision still waiting for me... I can not let my father down...
He is a good guy, I wanna give him and myself a chance, BUT some how, I scared that I will got pain or heartbroken again... in the end, just be my best male-friends here... don't think too much...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
11:39 PM
What happened on her??? so easily got angry with me.... actually she does not know me so well, and always put me into her own box.. must be followed by, can not escape!!! what the hell !? make me crazy.... and felt tired to her friend... few times already... how come like that ? maybe i should thank the God to give me such a really friend, maybe just like what I told yan xin, sok feng all those people, she loves me a lot , not treat me as a normal female friends...haiz.. don't know what i can say about this...
This evening I went down the Westmall to watch world trade centre... the show was quite nice and touching, I have learned something from it " what the meaning of PAIN, it means you still alive no matter what happened on you! Another thing is called in chinese " ren xing ben shan" ...
Don't know why I miss my mum very much tonight, of course I called back to my home, so shocked she did not go out to play MAJIANG.... when she picked up the phone, she was so surprise to answer the phone from me, and when I told her I miss you at the moment, then I just called you for chat... haha... not tricky... It is my FIRST time to tell her I miss her ... My mum said that" wah.. so happy till can not fall asleep... " haha.. very sure she will tell my father... between mum and me, we always like the sisters... whatever she wearing or the personalities, we two are quite similar..haha... no wonder she is my mum... haha... just a few mins talked with her, felt much better...
Just realized that I have not finished to do my Japanese homework...haiz.. keep it up... recently I am trying hard to do the SEG... gan ba dei !! haha...
My msn nick was purposely wrote to me, bao jun and him... and anyone of us!!! :)
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Sunday, October 08, 2006
10:47 PM
I am a the luckiest girl in my world... compare to my friends and classmates.. I really to be ....
Just few days ago, I told wei jia that I want to buy a new laptop, because ACER's USB drive can not be used, actually can be repaired...BUT....never go anywhere to do check or repair .... this moring, I called back father, to tell him that I have chatted with Dr.Yu already and gave him a excuse why i wanna change notebook, he agreed just in a short while... maybe in a few seconds...
Then I spent my whole afternoon to buy a new one -- COMPAQ!!! Much better than ACER!!
Right now i am not such happy than what i supposed to be... feel so so .... I miss my father .. treat me so well, whatever I need for study... or what I lack of .... he will give to me started from I was a child....
From Dr.Yu, i understood my father well, and much clearier what my mission and vision are... the stress === lucky!!! hope I will keep going on.... and do well....
haiz...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Saturday, October 07, 2006
10:27 AM
Now I wanna share some stories about my forth Mid-autumn festival here...
- Moring, Sok feng just met me and beelay for a short minutes then she went to "celebration", from her dressing, I think she went to beach to "kiss" the Sun!!! haha.. :p
-Before Lunch, I was trying hard to do the Circuit Lab... wah... I was able to do already, to get the waveform and all the connection are correct... a bit excited and started to like SEG gradually... hoho ... :)
-Lunch Time. Wei Jia went to buy lunch, I was sitting at canteen, I asked myself, "how are you, few days never seen you even we never talked, but just wanna see you to know you are still fine..", suddently I saw him just directly sat opposite me... he had lunch with his friends. wang bo, chen yan ru all those... BUT... look more slimer and older than before... haiz.... Even he quite near to me, I realised that I don't really bothered, and no much expections... till night, i never sent a message to say happy mid-autumn festival to him, improving!!!
-Evening!!! wah .... super angry and siao !! Qiqi and me strongly disagree to use the salt-water! and we two said clearly we will support the finance, just need you bring her to see doctor only !!! what F... AND S... WOMAN in the world... nainai is her own my mother , how can be treated like this... haiz... look down you he su ping... in chinese we saying " zhuang bi !!!" Filial really wanna give her palm.... what is called "FILIAL" SHE DOESN'T UNDESTAND !! HOW CAN BE A HUMAN !!!! rubish !!! ( spelling wrong)
haiz.... another thing is about wang bao jun! he told wei jia and ren hong yu, he felt sorry to me..because of his powerful girlfriend... whatever is none of my concerning... haiz..
you see, HOW WONDERFUL MY ZHONG QIU JIE !! HAIZ... SIAN !!
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
11:47 PM
I was staying at home for whole day, just went out for a short while to buy the Milk Tea and Fruit... Staying at home, praticing my Japanese Speaking , and did the homework... of course, I also cooked the Lunch for yeye nainai and myself... The taste was not very bad... :)
Actually I was thinking to go school today to ask Tom, how to do the Labview, but in the end, i just sent a simple message to cancel it, because of lazy !! haiz.. Same time, I made a appointment with Dr.Yu, to meet him on coming Sat... To chat with him, it is what my father asked me to do so...
After our dinner, some of aunty's friends came our house to visit yeye nainai, their voice is quite huge!! huan huan, qiqi and me, all of our three , we wore on the earphones to listen the music, trying harder to escape their voice... haiz...
Today was quite peaceful., nothing much happened to me, nothing special... not much can say in my blog here,BUT some more I felt a bit upset without the reason ...
haiz...
I purposely wrote my msn nick, " Do you remember you had eated chololate mooncake before?" It is because last year, i brought that to him when we go to visit Singapore Army...
less than one week, 261 days.... It is easy to say, but hard to do... to let it go free and take it easy... Especially i am a sensitive person...Whatever I felt sicking when I see wang bao jun!!!
ai ya... really worring about my SEG... Even i always encourage myself....
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
im waiting for the day.
wangjing
14th december
republic poly
for you to tell me.
my family especially my father
ice-cream
xjy
bws
that you love me too.
be happy everyday
study hard