i'm thinking of you
day and night
even though you don't speak a word
your voice is still in my head
do you know i think of you everyday?
do you even know my love for you?
My motivation is gone, No more expection ....haiz... so sad to know my brother can not come Singapore , because he is quite young age, the ICA don't allowed...visa problem... Nothing can say... just felt very sad and upset... I am sure that he will feel same as what I am..
I really willing him to come, to live with me, and meet all my friends here... and we can shared whatever happened to us and communicate with each other, all of those , only between him and me, no third world knows... even our parents...BUT!!! Anyway, I am planning go back for 10days... like what father said inside the message, my whole family miss me, and Between Dad and me can talk about our lifes, becuase I am already be a adult... some more I will start to write my PP... The person who in charge of is my lovely Dad!! haha..
Today Actually got Interpoly BBQ, but I went off in the half way, not very happy at that moment, when I reached Clementi was around 8pm+, then I went to Jurong East to watch <>, the borest movie I never watched before, almost fall asleep there,So again, during the movie, I left and back to home... Now , I just chatting with friends and writing my blogger... I just wanna very peaceful to let the time pass... haiz..
Today my mood like up and down... maybe my period coming soon in these few days... heihei ..
Whatever tomorrow ( sian, forgot the spelling then i used Encarta to search) ...I will go Chinatown to book my air-ticket... cheer up!!! :) and happy working at following night .... haha..
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Friday, July 28, 2006
2:28 PM
Wah... happy !!! haha.. my younger brother will come Singapore less than one week... can not wait for him anymore... I have beening overexcited...He is one of my motivations in my heart besides my father...
Somemore I am planning go back to China during the holiday, maybe only 1 week, maximum is 10days... cause I am charge in S 2006... haiz... I miss my father as well as other family members... especially miss my mum's cooking...haha... Another reason is to celebrate father's birthday together...
Before 20th of August, only my dear Dad in Lanzhou. Mum is going to European tour, brother come here to visit me... haiz.. my poor father...
These few days, I think I have already rebirthed... I wanna talk to wang bao jun, I wanna introuduce him to wang qiang, both of them heared each other name for quite long time already... but never met before... If possible, I will ask baojun accompany me go airport to fetch qiang...haha...not very confirmed yet..still thinking...whatever, I am still hate him in some ways... just like what I used for my msn nick, because of him, I lost you! ... Make a guess who he is and you are... should be two person! haha...
well, study for UT... Otherwise die... close book!!! :(
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Thursday, July 27, 2006
1:22 AM
WAH... firstly, i am glad to tell anyone who got my blogger address... finially I wanna rebirth myself... Reback to last two month, since our year 2 semester started.. Most of time when I felt upset or sad,all due to li cheng yuan, but now...quite used to it to no any talk between him and me, and further more, I don't have much feelings than before...It is a good news for me and as well as my friends
so NOW ,NO mre expections and all the best to anyone in my heart whenever in the beginner is ..this year or in the middle of it...
Tomorrow UT... have not started yet.. surely die..haiz.. well, my eyes can't open properly..so tired.....today i worked full day at waraku... in the evening, did station c...only one person who is myself looking after Station C.. busy and ma fan ...haiz... well, good night ...maybe i will write again in the following day..
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Monday, July 24, 2006
12:06 AM
wah...so sian and sibiesian(singapore dialogue,spelling wrong)!! these few days whereever I went to ... weijia always besides me... because most of the time was me go out to accompany her... she was so sad for breaking off ... me!! as one of her best friend in her heart , definitely should support and encourage all the time... even i was tired by doing work....what I can do for her.. just like what I did...
some more I was shocked by the power of TRUE LOVE.. how to express my feeling , I am not so sure... But I know exactly this kind of heartbroken I never suffered before...even after broken off with li cheng yuan... But In that time, to him, I never given a feeling or confidences, to let himself knew, i was really like him, It is becuase I did not say out by any words...haiz... therefore, when I was weijia , listening whatever she said about the broken relationship, and how she felt ... things like the reflection of li... maybe he would be same as her, but for guys.. they normally won't cry oftenly in front of people.... some how I Truely understand what li said to me in the last day we went out together..." i will hate you if we really broke" and understood more why he does not wanna give me a chance to be one of his friends...... so I told myself... it is called jiu you zi qu+ zi zuo zi shou! no one can help... and all belongs to FATE~~ YUAN FEN~ .. we don't have any choices....
So, in my nickname i wrote, whatever we had, all over.. best wishes to you! in my MSN nick, I put... hard to love somemore, it is hard to hate someoner either, to be a human and be self more harder...haiz...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Thursday, July 20, 2006
11:53 PM
Wah...20th of July is my dearest friend Tan Sok Feng's birthday, me and beelay bought her a birthday gift and treated at waraku... of course, we went to take neo-print again for this special day... very enjoyable with them...
Since 2003 , I came Singapore till now, besides aunty, huan huan, qiqi, It was the first time I went out to celebrate birthday... to me, really unforgetable... as a different country people, we can be such closed friends... happy for that...and zhen xi as well...
On this Tuesday, wei jia broken off her first love with her boy-friend... She heart-broken and so upset in these 2 days, I tried my best to convince her and chatted with her.. but things like useless... she is so stubborn in front of love..haiz... reading her journal..some more understand her feelings and hurt....
yerterday, no class, i went to da ba yao with weijia, we two bought one ring to wear... I am wearing on the finger which I normally do .... only 3 dollars.. quite cheap..but looked nicer...
hehe...nothing special happend in these two days besides sok feng birthday... one more thing, maybe after August, I will change my part-time job... see so many unfair thing among there...and one of my motivation will leave soon..haiz...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Sunday, July 16, 2006
11:57 PM
Maybe It is really good for us... I always hope you can give me a chance to be one of your friends... You have never rejected me straight forward...But what you did to me, already showed you would not accept me... Because I hurt you deeply... because I keep making a day-dream.... Girl and Boy relationship sometimes just like this... when we happy ,we can do whatever we want and like , share happiness and sadness. Once broke, It is really hard to say good bye to whatever we had before and difficult to treat each other just be a normal person in our heart...
Today I went to temple again for lucky pick...This time was a bit bad, it caused me so disappointed and willing to cry... I told myself it is not only because li cheng yuan, some more about myself , especially my study... whatever I can give to my father, my result...haiz...I tried so hard to cheer up and be more confident and happy...things like no any uses...Perhaps when I was outside with a group of people, I will more happy and happening one, however no matter what, I know i Just acted...behind is a true me...
Yesterday Evening I went to NP international night.. so unpredictable, I saw her( his present girlfriend) face to face... even we did not talk or a simple smile...but I know we are totally different kind of people... personalities or hobbies...some how, a bit sad and jealous of her...haiz...
I suddently decided go to sentosa by myself in the evening when I on the train to home...I was sitting on the place where he and me broken off...At that moment I expected him besides me...like last time when we sat down and made jokes between us...Anyway, no tears flow through...he just fulfilled my heart...haiz... around 9pm I called to him...asked few questions I hang on...because he was working , same excuse as last call...but he got reply my messages and asked me go back earlier and rest well...He said he will back home later and talk to me next time... Even it was not what I wish, I thank for him... to give me message replying...haiz...
Well... these two days..i crazy for a song , the lyrics I like most...: anyone can hurt someone they love and I made a stupid mistakes......."
Whatever I know I am waiting for you online... maybe now you are appear offline either in msn or qq... no matter the truth is , I will send you my journal and leave a message on qq.... hopeful I can do it and will ended all these nicely...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Friday, July 14, 2006
2:32 PM
What the hell ? The beach in the world .... he su ping.. so called as my parents in Singapore... How come she can treat me like this ? What's the fuck !!!( sorry .. i was super angry, therefore i say the offensive words here)... haiz.. not only because She did not prepare the money to pay my school fees.. it is due to I can not bear her anymore! 3 years... I have beening staying with her since I came Singapore... Whatever she did to me.. all of those are far from what she promised to my father... that's why my father always misunderstand me.. and trust her deeply... I grow up already.... my father still worrying about me... maybe he love me too much.. scared the bad things will happend to me... maybe he doesn't trust my ability neither.. don't know!! don't wanna know also...
Anyway, so in mood... this whole week I passes happily and enjoyable.. Besides today, everying in mine was quite fine... I just wanna keep this as long as possible.. but now!! unfair to me!! some more feeling wanna cry... anyway, no tears ...
I saw his msn nick..." FOREVER LOVE"...One of the song by wang li hong... the lyrics is nice and make sence ... but not for our case... It is more suitable for a couple..haiz... maybe he wanna reprent the good relationship between he and his present girlfriend! ...
Today I brought the neo-print box... inside got my favorate rings and hand wing... of course, there are many neo-prints photos about us... so nice and sweet memories there...whatever ... we broken for almost half year... haiz...
Last Saturday, I went to temple for the lucky pick, what I asked is that can he and me can be friends again...what I GOT... It sounds good... but I still can not do anything to change or improve on... weijia told him when they met at workin place... perhaps he will consider or pay a attention.... or just ignored it as soon as he can......
well. CHEER UP...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Friday, July 07, 2006
6:54 PM
The longest distance in the world is in our heart... At that moment, he just sitting behind me, listen the conversation between me and my friends... and watching how my friends playing the puzzle game around me... but we never talked......Today he wore a new t-shirt , look nicer than black and write... the time we togethered, besides this two color no others at all.haiz...
Tuesday UT did not do well... and quite upset in this whole month.. i was crying out... I sent a message to him. hope he would go out and chat with me... but till now no any message from him... that's why I told myself , i must end of all those stupid things by myself.. i was so tired.. especailly heart!!! haiz... well.. don't feel much sad when I saw him again today ...
good luck ... and study harder and harder.... must do well than wang bao jun...... why ? between me and him never be as usual.... more like stranger!!??
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Thursday, July 06, 2006
1:37 PM
wah... UT i did worst than last time.. PCB design!!haiz... After UT.. directly went to school library to do RJ...Since holiday started till now.. always in mood... it was caused me cry... I was walking to woodland mrt alone... no one besides me.. suddently the tears cannot control any more........haiz...
finially I gave up......
......
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Monday, July 03, 2006
7:52 PM
Well. One day passed...nothing got changed in mine... whatever studing or mood... This morning, i was late for lesson for almost 30mins... besides wake up late for 30mins, I was sitting down E2 first floor to think whether enter class or no... after deep thinking, i went to class and very in mood and difficult to stay at there for whole day.. for pbl working, I tried my best to do it...but my Orcad never worked .... felt very upset....some how give up for this module... even i kept saying I can overcome all my problem..and always confront myself ... anyway no use in this moment...
recently i was so disappointed ... and don't feel going to school.. especially enter class.. why ? what's wrong with me? who can understand me well? and save me... i worry about myself and do nothing for this... haiz...
waiting for my brother qiang come singapore, i think i will be more happy... we can share whatever we faced and suffered...
.....
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Sunday, July 02, 2006
1:02 PM
Haiz... England let me down... Brasil shock me! I feel sorry for my dear parents as well as myself....haiz...
Some how I don't wanna go school tommorw .. school sickness.. especially orcad! haiz... who can save me ? noone is here protact and understand me ...
Looking for a another Jay Chou ... maybe only me know what the exactly reason behind this nickname... Really wanna call you in many times... when I see your number.. I just wanna push phone call button.. just directly talk to you... when i saw you at school canteen... want to go towards and chat with you ... haha... what's wrong with me ? in my world.. you are not one person...haiz..
whatever... I must overcome my school sickness and go to learn japanese as soon as possible..start from this month ...
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
im waiting for the day.
wangjing
14th december
republic poly
for you to tell me.
my family especially my father
ice-cream
xjy
bws
that you love me too.
be happy everyday
study hard