i'm thinking of you
day and night
even though you don't speak a word
your voice is still in my head
do you know i think of you everyday?
do you even know my love for you?
Last Sunday, I was waiting for his phone call for a whole day, i was disappointed by that, my heart-broken at that moment. I cried so many times last whole week, even many friends came towards me to confront me, and made joke to me, they tried so hard to cheer me up. Till yesterday, suddenly i realized that , i am a very happiness girl in the big group people. I was told by myself , be brave and happy, and enjoy my life... whatever he and me already became one part of my histroy, maybe after few years, when i recall those, I will laugh at myself, how come so stupid to cry and upset... haha ...now , i really be myself, cheerful girl and brave to try new things... haha ... it is true myself... liu lang de pao mo ...
coming holiday soon, I must plan well, either go work in sg, or back to china with my family , work in resturant...haha .. but I am scared that I become fatter after holiday ... If possible can settle down everything before 10th of March, i will stay sg to study business or CAT or "o"-level english as well as SAT... so much things i have not achieved , so I must clear know what is my mission and vision to come here..not for someone to love me or i love with , it is to learn as much as possible, it is for my bright future, to help my father who is everything to me....
recently, haining and baiguang , two of them called me oftenly , wanna me to be their girlfriend, not only because i scared the heart-broken feelings, it is because i really want to live alone, i really afraid of that...be disturbed by others... sigh ...sometimes, i still imagine , after long time, when I received a phone call or message from him, what we should say? what's kind of feelings should we having...haha ... so stupid... but now i am happy ... really enjoying my life in my own way... hopeful this time can keep longer...
well, one more week left, my year study will be over, everything also can be ended.... welcome to my new life and myself.... study harder, be more confident ... and happy !!! I am a happiness girl because of my father and all friends around me...whenever i am in... and thank you for them too.!!!!
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
11:51 AM
Last night bao jun accompanied with me go Sentosa to watch Sea!! So many memories there, whatever bus stop or the beach... we two sat there, as well as chatting... I told him how me and li chengyuan become to couple , how we broken off, how my feelings etc... in that moment i quite miss li... 7th of Sep.2005 we went to there for celebrate our 4 months gathering, sweet memories ......................................................all in my heart.. never and ever forget... this moring when i woke up i don't any mood to do anything, even the scinece worksheet! :( when terry told me , two girls will live their house, which means li cheng yuan and them will be together , i feel to sad and angry ... more sad!! going to cry ... but in front of terry , i can not try out... because i promised to him i won't do that anymore... but i did it in my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't know what i am doing ... everyday like a goal !!!!!! how stupid i am ...
wo zhen de hen sha, wo gao su zi ji yao wang ji ta , dan shi wo kan ta bu zai xian ,wo zhen de hui xiang ta , xiang zhi dao ta zai na li , xiang zhi dao ta you mei you xiang guo wo ! ji shi wo zhi dao wo men fen shou le , wu fa mi bu de , dan shi wo zhen de hao nan qu wang ji yi ge zi ji fu chu xin de ren , jiu suan shi yang jun,wo tong yang ye shi hua le hen jiu cai wang ji de , ji shi wo zhi dao yang jun ai qian duo guo ai wo... li cheng yuan bu shi , wo zhi dao wo shang hai ta ye hen shen, wo zhi dao ta ceng jing zhen zheng ai guo wo , zai mou zhong cheng du shang ta ye shi ge shou hai zhe, zhi shi ta hui bi wo jian qiang ,bi wo yong gan , yin wei wo bu shi ta de chu nian ! er qie xian zai bu shi 2005, xian zai shi wo zai yi de bi ta duo !!! sigh !!!
game over!!!!!!!!
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Monday, February 20, 2006
11:54 AM
Yesterday night I was really in mood and disappointed... Baiguang and Terry called me, both of them tried to confront and encourage me.. but my tears still flow from my eyes, uncontrolable, till 2.30am I suddenly " woke up" ... and told myself , must be brave and confident , enjoy my life in my own way !!!
This morning when i wake up , as usual I said good luck to myself... from now on, i will be myself, happy as well. even I will spend long long time to recover my heart, at least I gave a try and never say give up... otherwise no one else will besides me , all of my friends and he will look down me!! Even now I really not used to it, always check the msn, to see whether he is online or not, very tired to do such things... most of my friend" now , we should celebrate , because finially you see his true face... I know what they are trying to say , however i know , at the beginning of we are together , he loves me more and more than i love him... I have hurted his feelings before, just like the game, now we turn our position... i really heart-broken... Time is everything!!!
well. no more tears , be happy .... i really miss my father ... no one can replace with him in my heart!!!!
wah ..lastly good luck to bee lay , my lovingly friend, sok feng and me will go to support her !!!
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
11:54 PM
Nothing specical actually... before he back, i always worry about how i face to him and what i should say to him, maybe we ask him can we get together , some stupid questions, but till that moment when i stood beside him, no such feelings at all. maybe i just be myself in a neutral way, maybe i treat him as a normal friend... maybe ..i don't know....haha ...
When i was waiting for him , i was quite excited and nevours as well. hehe , how funny i am ... but now i don't know what the feeling should be... sigh!!! however i still wanna know what he bring back to me...hehe ... don't think too much .. just as usual can and enough!
I am scared to lose wangbaojun as my best friend... if now god give me a mcq for chose who i wanna in my life, i think i pick wang bao jun! not li cheng yuan ! he wants to work in Baden, but i don't wanna bring him to there. Not very convient to each of us and seems like unconfortable.!!! hehe ....
well. tomorrow is a fresh and nice day wait for me ! good luck ! don't overthink everything in my life!
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
12:55 PM
Am I happy Valentines Day? maybe no, maybe yes in my own way ! whatever I know i am not...
Tomorrow he back SG, can not imagine what will happended ? how our relationship should be ? ... I try to forget all of these, but when i am free, when i am nothing to do, i will think about all of these headache issues...
Fall in love with someone can be a happiness thing , however in some certain time , it is be a troublesome and heartbroken thing... don't know how to handle it without any painful...
sigh !! Totoday i saw fewer friends we know, they said " hey" to me, but at that moment, i felt very embarass...sigh !!!
well, try to brave and consider less and relax myself!!!
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Sunday, February 12, 2006
11:07 PM
Wah ... time was passing so fast. only 2 more days he will be back, but I don't know how to face to him? If i treat him as a normal friend, i think it will be so bad to myself and hurt my feelings; if i treat him still be my boyfriend, i scared he will look down myself. Now it is become a very serious problem. These few days i did not see him on qq line , and did not received any messages from him. Maybe because he leave soon, he went out with his best friend and ex-girlfriend, or perhaps he has been staying with his gramma... I always told myself, don't think too much, do anything as usual , sally also said that... However i know what kind of person i am...
Last week, i was like a busy body, everyday left home around 7.30am, reached home around 12am, I went to work either school library or Baben... But i was quite enjoying myself.. even very tired!!! This comming week, i also got working day, and two more thing, one is go 7-11 interview, hopefully i can work there, then during the march holiday i will enjoy my holiday in working way... earn money and experiences... another thing is that, i will go airport to fetch up. I know how much i miss him and want be his girlfriend again, but like what i said just now, i scared that he looks down me... sigh .... so whatever happened, just TING TIAN YOU MING!!! sigh .. all of our friend never known we have already broken off relationship.. haha ... but i think i'd better told him what i felt in these 20days, maybe he also miss me, just never said out...
I really don't know what i should do, i just know , everyday go to work, will help me to forget something , because i only focus on working... maybe it is a good way to him and me!!!maybe once he see me at airport, he will told me how he miss me, or maybe he will tell me what present he prepared to me, or probably nothing tell and give to me!!! so many question mark in my mind, i really don't wanna think about this, but i can not control myself!!!! how such poor thing!!! sigh .....
anyway , like what i always said, good luck ,and enjoy my life in my own way !!!! *_*
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Monday, February 06, 2006
12:03 AM
WAH! This moring, haining brought me to job interview. one of his best friends working there, which is a Germany resturant at holland village. Even it look like quite small one, i still imaging ... coming tuesday , wednesday and thursday i got job training, hopefully on coming friday i can familiar with that, and do a good job there.
coming week i will quite busy, monday to friday all work, saturday i go east coast with library staffs and student assistants... sunday i willl stay at home to celebrate yuanxiao jie with aunty them three, of course i must have a good rest at home to welcome my new coming week..
after 10more days he will back , in these few days we chatted on qq , to share some happiness, i still fell strange and funny, but i know one thing, once i get busy , i won't think about or miss him too much ... especially when he not around me.... i scared that, once he back, perhaps my life will be changed by him again, maybe we won't disturbed each other, just like the normal friend. sigh... don't know, think too much !!!
wah .. i have eaten too too much things from yesterday moring till now( sunday evening), i will getting fatter ,... !!! so how ? lose weight!! must control myself !!!! haha ...*_*
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
Thursday, February 02, 2006
1:08 PM
He has been China for one week, since last Wednesday he left. This is the first time I stayed in Singapore without him started from last May, my life was being changed by him, as he is one important part of my life.
During the Chinese New Year, I don't even know his contact number or anything, some of our friends asked me, whether i called him due to Chinese New Year. I felt very embrassed, on the first day of New Year, i leave a message to him by QQ. Then this moring, when i was online the QQ, he replied to me after 5 days, just few simple words. I was quite happy to see that , and miss him again, therefore i kissed the ring ...
after 2 more weeks , he will back SG. How i should to face to him, just treat him as a normal friend, or no any changes, we are still be a couple...etc... Last few days, i used to think, once i got job to do, i wanna be his girlfriend again, but i scared that he got some changers when he back from China... maybe i am a person who always thinking too much, and don't know how to make a decisions effectively and fast. So i told myself, i will see how first, if i am lucky can settle everything before next Monday, i will try one week , and consider again. Of course, make a desicion before he back.
Now, good luck and enjoy my life in my own way.
i say nothing but
i know you know how i feel
im waiting for the day.
wangjing
14th december
republic poly
for you to tell me.
my family especially my father
ice-cream
xjy
bws
that you love me too.
be happy everyday
study hard